Seven Days of Torture
by DarkBeerAngel
Summary: It's Reno's seventh annaversary as a Turk, and he's going to let everyone know how he feels about it, his favorite way. :P Ch 1Round One: A Sticky SituationMonday MorningR&R, no flames please


Disclaimer- All FF7 characters belong to Square Enix, the end.

Seven Days of Torture- Round One: A Sticky Situation/Monday Morning

Tseng knew there was something terribly wrong going on as he entered the Shinra building's parking garage. One, he observed, Elena's car was gone. Two, Reno and Rude were standing in front of Rude's H3 parked in her place. "What in Holy did they do to her now," The Wutaian thought to himself, sighing as he pulled into his parking space. "Hey boss," Reno called mockingly," Guess what?" "What," Tseng answered sharply, only guessing what they had been up to. His feelings shifted as Elena stepped out of the back door... "Oh dear Holy," Tseng cried, trying not to laugh at the soggy-eyed blonde, her prim and pressed suit covered elbow deep in... What definitely smelled like Chocobo manure. Tseng turned his eyes to Reno, but the redhead shook it off. "Come on... Do you think I'd sink this low?" Rude looked away and adjusted his glasses, trying not to laugh. "In any case..." Tseng trailed off, still eyeing Elena, "Let's go get you cleaned up, then you could tell me what happened?" Elena nodded, wiping her bangs out of her eyes before taking his offered arm. Reno grinned and whispered something to Rude and they both nodded and followed Tseng and Elena to the elevator. "Something I can help you with," Tseng asked, halfway not wanting a response. "Not at all," Reno answered simply and leaned back against the elevator's handles, fingering his EMR. Rude stepped in behind him and grinned. "Going up..."

Reno caught Tseng's glance and grinned knowingly. "Okay. So electricity and manure don't mix well, right?" Tseng turned a rather shocked look to Reno, as he noticed the redhead's finger tapping against his EMR's button...

BOOM

"O.o"

Reno never seen his boss's fist fly at him, but he grinned as he checked himself out in the metal shaft's reflection as Rude pulled him up off the floor. Elena had pressed herself hard against the door and tripped as it opened, falling hard against a very disgusted Rufus. "Sir! ...I... I can explain..." The blonde blurted out, but Rufus just brushed himself off and motioned for the four to come with him. They followed, Elena near tears again and Reno nursing his now blackening eye. "I have no idea how this happened," Tseng tried to press Rufus, but the blonde president held his hand out. "It's in the past now... Now, we must hurry to the meeting room, I want no more of this, understood?"

Rude grinned, dangling a level four restore materia in front of the redhead's nose. Reno cringed and pulled back. "No way dude, forget it." "Ah come on, it won't hurt... That bad..." "No! I want it to hurt! Wait... What am I saying? No I don't! Leave me alone!" Rude chuckled to himself as he mused on what a big baby Reno was for such a ruthless killer... "Fine, have it your way..."

"Give me five minutes in the bathroom with her," Tseng asked of Rufus as they passed the employee lavatory. "Fine, but make it quick," Rufus declared, more or less bored. Tseng led Elena into the men's room, to the lockers. "You could probably wear one of Reno's, right?" Elena stared, dumbfounded by his proposition. "Eww, no! I don't even want to know the last time he cleaned that..." Tseng sighed. "So you'd rather go all day... Like that?" Elena knew he was right, but... "Well... I do have another suit in my locker, so... I should go..." Tseng watched, almost sadly as the young blonde scurried out of the locker room. He really did want to see her naked... He shrugged it off and paused to brush back his just past the shoulder-length raven hair in the mirror. Humming a tune to himself, he joined Reno and Rude, standing still just outside the doors.

Rufus was sitting in the meeting room as the usual people took their places... Pigs. He hated them all, but he adjusted his small silver-framed reading glasses, removed his papers from his inner coat pocket and stood before them all the same. As he cleared his throat and prepared himself, he couldn't help but wonder where his Turks were... _"I told them five minutes..."_

Elena looked herself over as she quickly tried to change out of her uniform and search her locker for her clean one... "I do have one, right?" Eep! She grabbed a nearby towel and covered herself as she noticed Reno leaning back against the shower stalls. _"Hey, nice ass,"_ he thought to himself, but, being an ass himself, he halfway covered his eyes and faked staggering backward, tripping himself over the benches for a closer look. "Ah! My eyes! They burn!" Elena fumed. "You... Jerk! Get out before I call security!" "Trust me...I'm not touching that thing with a 50 foot pole, I don't know where he's been..." Rude joked from the locker shadows, looking towards the door ensuring she wouldn't see him smiling. Reno grinned innocently before snapping an offended "Hey!"

Tseng briskly walked in and stood besides Rufus, watching over the president's shoulder as he presented yet another boring speech. He couldn't help but be preoccupied... He never did find out why Elena was wearing... Such an offensive substance... And now, not having the other three with him... He felt something very wrong, though he wasn't sure about what ...Yet. Though he was closer to finding out that he would know.

"Come on, just like we practiced," Reno encouraged as the three Turks ran to the parking garage. "Except, without covering me this time, right" Elena added, and Rude grinned. "Sorry about that, really." Elena smirked to herself as they entered the elevator and headed down. "Are we going to get in trouble for this," She innocently asked. Reno grinned wildly. "Better kiss your next paycheck goodbye!" Elena looked for some sort of consultancy from Rude, but he somberly nodded and looked to the ceiling. "Reno?" ".. Wha?" "Is it to late to bale out?" "Oh yeah babe," he teased, slipping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her back against him. "You're in it to the end, you know way too much. The only way out... Well... I suppose I could consider..." He playfully moaned in her ear and she squirmed and ducked to free herself from his arms. "I would hardly consider... You perv..."

Twenty minutes into his grand speech of the week, and the other three were still missing. Rufus lost his words for a moment, and glanced back angrily to Tseng. The Wutaian also glanced back, pretending he hadn't noticed the president's anger. He was confused and quite helpless to the situation. He knew his comrades were going to catch hell for standing Rufus up, and how it would reflect on him, their leader... _"By default... Please let there have been an emergency..."_ He hoped to himself.

It was Elena's turn to smile as she turned the key in the ignition of Rude's Hummer. It started, and she couldn't help but sigh with an un-assured relief. "You guys ready back there?" "All set," Rude confirmed, and Reno let out and all-assuring "Woo-hoo!" from the roof. "Let's roll this baby!" Elena slowly pulled out, mentally preparing herself for the imposing consequences the boy's fun would bring. _"This better be worth it..."_

"Reno, surveillance?"

"Yeah, got it!"

"You sure this time?"

"Trust me.."

"Well... Are they all there?"

"Every one of 'em... But..."

"What is it?"

"Uh..."

"Reno?"

"Tseng-san's in there, isn't he?"

"Yeah... Do it anyway."

"What?"

"Just do it, 'Lena."

"But..."

"Do it, dammit! Now!"

Rufus paused for a minute to look at the wall clock. "Would you all excuse me for a minute, I need a drink of water... Tseng? If you would accompany me?" "Y...Yes sir." Rufus turned to Tseng outside the door and was about to question him when they heard the screams from inside the meeting room. Tseng drew his gun and swung the door open and, much to both their surprise, found the executives covered in Chocobo manure. "Ooh... Now I understand," The Wutaian trailed off, leaving Rufus puzzled. "Somehow, I know Reno must be behind this," Rufus grimaced and withdrew from the doorway. Tseng shook his head. Who cares... Let's get you out of here, sir."

As the two walked down the corridor, screams were heard from every room. "Pathetic," Rufus sniffed, covering his nose as they waited for the elevator. "Sir, if I may..." Tseng stopped and leaned against a wall, sturdying himself. It stank quite bad, and he was easy to make gag.

From a block away, the screams were marvelous. "Better than the fourth of July, eh," Reno asked Elena as he twisted open a beer out of the cooler Rude kept in the back seat. Elena crinkled her nose in disgust. "Without all the fireworks, of course..." "But if you want..." Reno once again pulled out his trusty EMR and was about to spark it, as Rude pinned him to the seat. "You just don't give up, do you," The larger man asked, and Reno grinned and batted his eyes at his best friend. "Not when I know you'll always be there to give me a good..." "Guys," Elena broke through, and they both looked up.

"What a beautiful site to behold... I think I'm gonna cry," Reno mocked as they watched the scene unfold from the backseat. Thousands of Shinra employees, flooding into the streets, completely soaked in manure. "Damm, this is better than I thought it would be," Reno mused as he watched Scarlet run by, still screaming, completely pissed. Elena collapsed to the floor, laughing. "Oh Holy... That's too much... I can't handle... Much more... It hurts to laugh!" Rude nodded and twisted off a beer of his own, clinking bottles with Reno. "I'll drink to that."

It wasn't long until the black H3 was singled out by Tseng, but he slowly guided Rufus past, to his waiting limo. _"Later,"_ He mouthed to Rude, and he nodded. "Come on guys, let's go," Rude said, but found himself only talking to himself. It was his vehicle, after all. Plus, Reno had opened a third beer, and Elena was laying spread out on the back seat's floor, still laughing. Rude sighed and climbed to the front and followed slow behind the president's entourage. They were still on duty, after all, and one of there's was in there.

_Later that night, at Tifa's 7th..._

Tseng leaned forward against the bar table and swirled his straw, mixing his layered drink and pondering where this could be going.

"Hey Reno?"

Reno looked up from his whiskey sour and gave him a lopsided grin. "A...Yah, whassup?"

"Was there something I missed out on?"

"Yah... The seventh anniversary since I was picked. Why?"

"...Why? Well, for starters... Why poop? As amusing as it was, as an adult, you can be held accountable and punished..."

"By who," Reno cut in, sloshing a bit of his drink onto the table. "Don't even start with me. We're Turks, man... We are the law. Screw 'em all... My life has been hell since I've been here, and I wanna make them all...Uh..." Reno lost his trail of thought for a moment, and Rude looked up from his beer. "Make them all suffer," He offered. "Make who suffer? Haven't you done enough," Tifa interjected as she brought Elena's drink over. Rude looked down, with a new interest with his shoelaces. Elena giggled and took her drink. "Oh, you know how guys are when their drunk, they think revenge is the solution to everything..." Tifa nodded to Elena and eyed Rude as she walked away. He was still looking at his shoes.

Tseng sighed. "So, does that mean you're taking tomorrow as a personal day, or...?" Reno snorted. "Yeah right. And miss out on all the fun? Man, I'm just getting started!"


End file.
